Joke #3773

I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
Vote:
has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, marriage, wife
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Vote:
has 74.15 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer, sex
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote:
has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
Q:How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road? A:With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.
Vote:
has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal. Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet. Of course, they should at the court.
Vote:
has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, sport
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
Vote:
has 82.28 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Vote:
has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: lawyer