Joke #3773

I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
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Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.
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Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
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Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
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A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
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