Joke #3773

I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How can you know a lawyer is lying? When he moves his lips.
Vote: has 64.33 % from 110 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that! What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?" The man yells back, "About a half mile from town." Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer." The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?" The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
Vote: has 81.25 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, travel
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money, office, wife
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote: has 83.60 % from 343 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer