Joke #3017

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote: has 81.76 % from 565 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, husband, lawyer, sex
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote: has 83.60 % from 343 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven. Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done to my car!’ he whines. ‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick,’ replies the officer. ‘You’re so worried about your stupid car, you haven’t even noticed your left arm was ripped off!’ ‘Oh my God!’ replies the lawyer. ‘Where’s my Rolex?’
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer