Joke #4138

A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Vote:
has 73.60 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, party
Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Vote:
has 67.28 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, money, nurse
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer