Joke #8921

There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
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Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !" Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."
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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
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How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
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How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.
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