Joke #8921

There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
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A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!
Vote: has 15.98 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Vote: has 87.17 % from 1067 votes. Send joke:

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He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
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Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 72.32 % from 160 votes. Send joke:

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
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I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him. I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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