Joke #4758

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
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How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
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What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
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How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
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What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
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