One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
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Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
Vote:
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?"
"No, my dog doesn't bite."
The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously.
A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!"
The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote:
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !"
Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote:
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
A man bought a new car.
Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal.
Suddenly he opened the door and got down.
Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?"
The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?"
Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
