Q: Whos the richest man in Mexico?
A: The person who gets the penny.
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Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote:
An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week.
Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant.
"Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week."
"Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman.
"No," said the American.
"Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.
He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many."
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards."
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee-grows.
Whats faster than a black person stealing your car?
Him driving away in it.
Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
There was only two vans.
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs.
A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy.
And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds.
I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse."
Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far.
The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless."
Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq.
You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles.
President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.
There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
How can you tell a black guy has been on your computer?
It's not there.