Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Can't be matched...
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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