Joke #3282

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.

Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.

Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.

Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.

Do you know Chuck Norris? Yes? Then he shall allow you to live... for now.

Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.

Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!