Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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