Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
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Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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