If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.