If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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