If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.