If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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I hate Chuck Norris.
Oh SHI...
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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