Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.