What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!