Joke #3334

Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men

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Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
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According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 74.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time