Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
Vote:
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.