A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q. Why do blondes have legs? A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground. A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen. A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails.