Joke #3398

Can I dock my rocket at your space station?
Vote: has 33.22 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
Vote: has 19.02 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

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How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
Vote: has 29.19 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

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My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

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A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"  He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."
Vote: has 84.91 % from 410 votes. Send joke:

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A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
Vote: has 82.64 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Vote: has 36.95 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Vote: has 83.88 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
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Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson. "Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."
Vote: has 85.24 % from 671 votes. Send joke:

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My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
Vote: has 38.48 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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