Joke #3456

A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!" The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"
Vote:
has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, fat, marriage
One man's marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. "Well," his friend says, "you can always have an affair." "I can't do that! I will always be faithful to her." the troubled man replies. "If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won't be cheating." The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. "Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it."
Vote:
has 51.87 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
Vote:
has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband, marriage, wife
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Vote:
has 26.01 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Vote:
has 85.25 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex? A: Let her catch you doing it.
Vote:
has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: marriage
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Vote:
has 71.80 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
My best friend ran away with my wife. It's only been three days and I really miss him.
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife