Joke #3462

One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."

Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.

Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.

A man is participating in a golf tournament. He was left to golf with just his caddy. On his tee-off, the golfer's ball lands in a patch of buttercups. The caddy tells the golfer he can take the ball onto the course, and he won't take a one stroke penalty. However, the golfer refuses and takes the ball out of the buttercups and takes the stroke penalty. Suddenly, Mother Nature appears. "What you just did was amazing. I am so proud that you enjoy nature and all of its beauty. For your reward, I will give you a lifetime supply of butter." "Thanks," says the man. "But where were you last week when my ball landed in the pussywillows?"

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.

Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.