Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top. How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter." The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!" The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback. The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game? A:They stay in front of some fans!
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!