Joke #3614

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."

A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?" The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill. A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill. A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill. A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof? A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!" He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face. "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."