There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
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What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What's the important part of a horse?
The manr part.
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."