What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
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Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
"Beeflt!"
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.