What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.