Joke #10624

What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
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has 75.39 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 63.92 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal