Joke #4947

Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza? Little Seizures. What? To soon?
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, music
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Vote: has 79.18 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Are you free on Sunday? The director asks his secretary. Yes, sir. Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."
Vote: has 84.91 % from 201 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: catholic, god, life, women
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."
Vote: has 83.63 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, life
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work