Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"