Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident?
The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.
Some time went by, and the case got to court.
The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him."
Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?"
I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes?
Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man.
He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."
"No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool.
The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?"
God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
"Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
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