Joke #3722

Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, god, lawyer, phone
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.
Vote: has 28.11 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Vote: has 31.97 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer