Joke #4139

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: airplane, lawyer
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues: -A lawyer is the freest creature in the world. He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!
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has 11.50 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer