‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’
Garry Shandling
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The chicken and the egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving?
They both fell off the motorcycle.
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."