‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’
Garry Shandling
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A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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