He was a very keen lawyer, he even named his daughter ‘Sue’.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What’s the difference between two lawyers in a Porsche and a porcupine?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A: A great place to start.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
A loan shark asks a lawyers advice:
How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt?
Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you.
Ok but I only loaned him $1,000!
That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side.
He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food."
the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along!
And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!"
the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"