He was a very keen lawyer, he even named his daughter ‘Sue’.
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man.
"I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50.
This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "How many can you afford?"
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.
The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers?
A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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