Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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