Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
Chuck Norris hates Raymond.