Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees.
Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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