Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.