What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!
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Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?
A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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