What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.