Joke #3921

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
Vote:
has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir.
Vote:
has 10.25 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?" So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a bunny rabbit!" The little blind bunny was so pleased with this that he danced with joy. The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?" The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, "So, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."
Vote:
has 82.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, lawyer
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote:
has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Vote:
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money." "Why do you say that?" "Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25'."
Vote:
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Vote:
has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, lawyer, women
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer