Joke #3787

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Vote: has 67.20 % from 110 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, money, nurse
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honour.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, money
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer