Joke #3806

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money

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If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.
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A man walks into a bar and orders a triple brandy with a double whisky chaser. ‘You know I shouldn’t really be drinking like this with what I’ve got,’ says the man to the barman. ‘Why? What have you got?’ asks the barman. ‘Fifty pence,’ replies the man.
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A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
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How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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I was taken short in the back of a taxi. Because of all the mess I gave the driver a ten-pound note. Mind you it had only been a fiver before I wiped myself with it.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
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Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money