Joke #3806

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?" "Five bucks, sir." "And how much for my suitcase?" "No charge for the suitcase, sir." "Okay. Take the case and I’ll walk."
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Vote: has 63.06 % from 537 votes. Send joke:
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One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Vote: has 54.80 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
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Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.
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The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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