Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Vote:
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.