Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
What's an extroverted IT professional?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
