Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!