Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
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Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
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