Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Vote:
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote:
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control.
Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.
They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."
The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before.
I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."
The programmer said "I think you're both wrong!
I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
Vote:
Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered?
Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.