Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
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What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?
About three inches.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier.
The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part.
The next mornning the king checks the guys private part and there's green glitter all over it.
More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening.
Finally, one day this guy comes along.
The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next mornning checks the guys privates and there was no green glitter.
The king is thrilled and offers the man his daughters hand in marriage.
The guy smiles to accept with a mouth full of green glitter.
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans.
Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish.
He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen."
"Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on."
The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Vote:
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.