Joke #3848

Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’ Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’ Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue. Forget it.’
Vote: has 41.63 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Vote: has 35.73 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
Vote: has 48.11 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, "Honey what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."
Vote: has 79.16 % from 1210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 51.47 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Vote: has 68.85 % from 240 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
Vote: has 31.13 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
Vote: has 61.15 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Vote: has 79.59 % from 911 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Vote: has 53.56 % from 354 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
Vote: has 64.98 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex