Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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