Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.