Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris is not cool.
By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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