Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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