Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest.
After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book.
"Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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