Joke #2619

"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. Squash

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.

An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!" He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!" Concerned, his partner turns to him "What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"