Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water...
That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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