Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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