Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water...
That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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