Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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