Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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