Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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