Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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