One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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