One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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