Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.
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The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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