Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
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A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are.
The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy."
The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine."
It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote:
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex.
I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning.
The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."
"Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."