Joke #4533

Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.

Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."

Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!

My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.

Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.

Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.

While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"

What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!

Husband: "When I die, I'd like to die making love." Wife: "At least we know it'll be quick!"

Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.

Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."