Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.