Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.