Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!
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Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer.
They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down.
The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution.
Suddenly the programmer says:
"I say we better FORMAT it!"
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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