Joke #3988

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money, wife
To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
Vote:
has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Vote:
has 67.39 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, money, nurse
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
Vote:
has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, office, wife
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
Vote:
has 79.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Vote:
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: airplane, lawyer
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Vote:
has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer