When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
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A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
Vote:
A: What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker?
B: A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought?
Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds.
What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi?
Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife.
I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by.
One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her!
The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink.
When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00."
The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!"
The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
A man walks into a bar with a alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’
‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man.
‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my ’gator.’
What do you call Satan and a lawyer?
Twins!