A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash.
‘What?!’ shouts the assistant.
‘Come again?!’
‘No!’ shouts back the woman.
‘This time it’s mustard!’
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Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Vote:
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?”
“1956,” was his reply.
“No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”
“I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a
lovely bouquet of roses.
Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a
suspicious look when he handed her the flowers.
"I suppose," she said, "that now you expect
me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread."
"Why?" said the young man.
"Don't we have a vase?"
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’
Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’
Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.