Joke #4026

A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’

One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."

Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’

Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."

Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’

Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.

Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"

A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.