Joke #3867

There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.

My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over", he said.

A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"

Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place? Well, it could have been worse. How? There could have been more teams in the league!

Paddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the f*cking boat!"

All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball. So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd? Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!

There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court. The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no! he beats me!". The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!". So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?" The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"

When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!

A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal. Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet. Of course, they should at the court.