Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated? A: "Oh balls."
A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!