Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
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I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line.
Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later.
The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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