Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
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Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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