Joke #4086

If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Vote: has 84.07 % from 190 votes. Send joke:
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A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me." Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me." The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."
Vote: has 52.68 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
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Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
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Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
Vote: has 80.93 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, men
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, marriage, old people, single
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’ Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
Vote: has 55.49 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding