Joke #4086

If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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has 84.07 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A wife and her husband were sleeping, in the middle of the night, the husband farted. Next morning the guy told his wife: "Last night I dreamed that I've bought a Mercedes!" His wife said: "That is right and you tootled for me."
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I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
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Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
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Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
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“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
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has 84.72 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, relationship, wife
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’ The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
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has 85.40 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn’t comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet. ”Are you hurt?” he asked.”Of course I’m hurt!” she replied. “Three times around and you didn’t wave once!”
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."
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has 85.25 % from 635 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage