Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
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A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog.
The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!"
The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!"
He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears.
The crocodile opens its jaws wide.
The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again.
The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker.
Everybody in the bar is very impressed.
To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!"
But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars.
Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice:
"I think I can do it!"
Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!"
The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed,
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
