Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.