Joke #4597

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
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How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
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What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
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A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
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