Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !