Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
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Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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